May 08, 2013

.the dirt on juice.

So, a little back story behind my three day juice... I know a lot of people who have tried juicing. Some for three days, some for five, and some for a month. They all raved about how good they felt afterwards and how "worth it" it was.

"Try it! You'll lose weight" they said. "You'll crave veggies and fruits when it's all over!" they said. "You'll feel GREAT!" they said.

I have one thing to say to that LIES. Lies! Lies! Lies!!!

The day started out great...a little carrot and apple juice to start the day. YUM! I felt great. (I was so naive then...I even snapped a picture of it like it was something awesome) lunch time my poor little tummy was confused and hungry. I tried to quiet the rumbling with some green concoction, and that helped a little...a little. By dinner time, my stomach was angry, and it wasn't alone. I was raging maniac. Seriously. It was like the "magic juice" had turned me into a crazy person.

"You know why I like water!?!? Because water doesn't pretend to be something delicious. It is what it is," I ranted. To take my mind of my life being completely ruined (and also because it was a beautiful evening!) Kyle and I went on a bike ride. Sadly, all I could think about was wanting to kill the five thousand people who decided it would be a grand night to grill out. "HOW DARE THEY! Don't they know I'm juicing!?" After I saw some people walking by with a bag of Taco Bell (which I hate) and the thought "a bean burrito sounds so divine" popped into my head, I knew I had lost it.

So, we went home.

...and that's when my stomach decided it had had enough. It was a full on revolt against me, and I couldn't blame it. (To make matters worst, my head decided to go on strike as well. A side of migraine, anyone?) I sat there staring at The Mean Green, willing it to be something anything else! No remained a big giant glass of pure evil. I took a tiny sip and I gagged. I laid my head on the counter and tried to get my stomach to settle down. I waited a good five minutes before I dared even look at that dang thing. I took another sip, this time with my eyes closed pretending it was ice cream. (yeeeeeeah right.)

This went on for some time. I somehow managed to drink half of that drink. I then felt like I was laying on deaths door, so I ran, laid on my bed, and did what I knew best....sent whiny texts to my mom. Why am I doing this to myself!? I complained. She encouraged me (and also scared the living daylights out of me by sending me "what to expect when juicing" whoever has accomplished more than five days of juicing, you deserve a medal because those side effects are not kidding around.)

My mom managed to talk me off a cliff and I am in the middle of day two right now.

2 comments on ".the dirt on juice."

  1. i have always wanted to try a cleanse, but the closest i've come is a green smoothie for breakfast every other day! ;) middle of day two is great, you're almost there...good luck!!

    1. That's my kind of cleanse. ;) I've been sticking to a juice or smoothie every day and a salad every day...muuuuch more enjoyable that a cleanse! (I know...I'm a wimp. :P)